Vicky Entwistle – Weight Off Workout

After last week’s Hollyoaks workout, now it’s Coronation Street’s turn. CLCW is clearly on a mission to prove that Eastenders doesn’t hold the monopoly on soap star related fitness DVDs.

Unlike Eastenders which takes place amongst the civilised postcodes of the South East of England, Coronation Street is set in the grim North and is full of characters who train whippets, make hotpots and speak as they find. Probably. Despite it being the world's longest-running TV soap opera in production, I’ve never actually watched an episode and have extrapolated all my understanding of the show from its theme music.

This week’s celebrity played Janice Battersby , the street’s loudmouth factory worker. Is there are a more northern-sounding name than Janice Battersby?

Well, yes there is. Vicky Entwistle. The name of the actress who played her.

Entwistle. Entwistle. It’s great, isn’t it? “Get Entwistle over t’mill. One on't cross beams gone owt askew on treddle.”

Occasionally Coronation Street required her to dress as the Queen

Vicky Entwistle, like so many soap stars before her, has suffered the trauma of having her photograph taken from an unflattering angle by the tabloid paparazzi while daring to sport a swimming costume, no make-up and post-swimming hair.

Losing 2 stone and releasing a fitness DVD is one response. This would have been another.

Now much as I hate the shrub-skulking lowlifes who contribute these photos to the UK’s most exploitative newspapers, they do seem to provide the catalyst for a lot of the celebrity workouts that get reviewed here. Perhaps I  should concede that there is some virtue in what they do. Well, that’s clearly not going to happen. Total fucking scum. Every one of them.

In addition to losing 2 and a half stone, Vicky has also dropped 10 dress sizes which is a pretty startling weight loss/ dress size conversion rate however you slice it. Still given the disparity between size measurements across shops, I could drop 6 dress sizes just by selecting different items of clothing from my wardrobe so maybe that accounts for some of it.

Although there was definitely exercise involved as well.

Not that she isn’t clearly a fraction of the lady she used to be.  “I know I’m never going to be a supermodel,” she says in her introduction. “But I’m gobsmacked how much I’ve changed.” She seems like a nice lady. For the workout, she’s  rocking a vest-top and shorts combo which make her look ever so slightly like a tennis ball.

Ceci n'est pas une balle de tennis.

Vicky is joined by trainer Richard Callender who we last saw humouring Katie Price in the Jordan workout. He was also one of the trainers on the The Biggest Loser although it is hard to imagine as he seems like an absolute sweetie.

The sections of the workout are the Warm Up, Fat Burner, Body Tone and Belly Shrinker. The exercises are rather great. At the end of the cool down Vicky says, “Now I have to be honest with you. The first time I did this, I couldn’t walk for a couple of days afterwards.” You’re telling me this now, Entwistle? Don’t you think it’s a bit late for that? I may have stuff to do over the next couple of days that requires the use of my legs.
It’s now 24 hours since I did these exercises and luckily I don’t seem to have any trouble walking. Perhaps  I wasn’t pushing myself enough or  maybe I’m a lot fitter than Vicky was at the beginning of her fitness regime. It’s more than likely that Vicky has a tendency towards hyperbole. Actors often do, you know. Even the straight-talking Northern ones.

Best Bit

At the end of the obligatory “Making Of” DVD extra, we are shown Vicky variously eating a chocolate cupcake, drinking champagne and feeding Richard something that looks suspiciously like mashed potato with a massive spoon – like a baffling re-imagining of Bodger and Badger. I applaud such behaviour in a C-List Workout celeb. You wouldn’t get it from Penny “Chocolate Sniffer” Lancaster.

Party time!

Weirdest Bit

There are times during the workout that Richard has a perceptible outline round his head as though he has been super-imposed in the workout room via the magic of film camera trickery.

Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy?

I was going to make a joke about how the whole thing was really recorded in an alien space-station or in a magical fairy kingdom and they blue-screened it to make Richard appear like he was in a perfectly normal fitness studio.

Thing is, I’ve watched the DVD extra and it really does look like some of it was filmed in front a blue screen. I have no idea what’s real and what isn’t any more. Maybe none of these DVDs are really real. Maybe they just exist so that I can review them here like some kind of massively unsuccessful version of the Truman Show.

"That's great Vicky. Now we'll just get our CGI guys to painstakingly create an unremarkable workout space around you."

Is Richard Callender even a real person? I mean, sure I’ve seen him in the DVD extras but you know what, I’ve seen Buzz Lightyear in DVD extras and I’m pretty sure there’s some kind of trickery involved there too.

Worst Bit

Yet another pointless eating plan. There isn’t sufficient information here to plan anything. If the DVD producers aren't going to get Vicky back in to talk us through it and wave some Mange Tout at the camera, then quite frankly I’m not interested.

Or maybe dress as some Mange Tout. That would be good.

Difficulty Level

There are two types of ‘difficult’ when it comes to C-List Celebrity Workouts. Difficult to understand and difficult to do. It’s possible for a workout to be difficult because the instructor rattled through the instructions, didn’t really explain where your legs had to go and then expected to change from squats to lunges on no notice. It doesn’t mean that the workout necessarily did you much good.

Ideally you want the workout to be easy to understand but a bit of a challenge to complete which is exactly what Vicky Entwistle delivers here. Well, Richard Callender really deserves the credit but he wasn’t a cast member in the Best British Soap 2013 (according to the British Soap awards) so sorry, Rich.

Got this on your CV, Callender? No, didn't think so.

Everything is explained properly and demonstrated before you need to do it. In the warm-up section Richard introduces the new moves one at a time after making us complete the routine each time from the start. It’s the exercise version of that memory game where one person says “I want to the shops...” and you have to keep adding things to the list until someone forgets it.

Would I do this workout again?

Oh, I think so. I may be woefully ignorant with regard to most of Vicky Entwistle’s oeuvre but I’m happy to exercise with her again.

Gabby Logan - Twin Results Workout

The reason for choosing Gabby Logan as this weeks CLCW review is a pretty exciting one. Last week in aid of Sports Relief, a whole bunch of celebrities participated in Twit Relief and us hoi polloi were invited to buy raffle tickets in order to win, for example, dinner with Emma Kennedy or a phone call from actress, Diane Vickers. A lot of the celeb prizes included – or consisted solely of – a Twitter Superfollow. This is very much like a regular follow but instead of being followed by an common or garden pleb, you are followed by a living, breathing actual celebrity! Yes it’s THAT exciting!


Your chance of winning has passed now, of course.

And wait, I haven’t even got to the truly exciting part yet! C-List Celebrity Workouts (@clcelebworkouts) have won BBC Sports Presenter, Clare Balding! She will be following the CLCW twitter account for a minimum of three months and has to retweet something I say at some point! I feel like Clare and I are best friends now. OK, I had to pay for it and she hasn’t actually started following me yet, but we’re like sisters, really we are.

Here’s one of Clare Balding’s tweets from earlier today:

“Having a fun day out at Ascot races with @antanddec Have advised their mates to back Desert Law in 3.20 at Doncaster so the pressure's on.”

Now if this doesn’t prove that Clare and I are soulmates, I don’t know what does.
Admittedly, I have never been to Ascot. Or met Ant or Dec. Or advised anyone regarding who to back in the 3.20 at Doncaster . But if I DID do any of these things, I’m pretty sure I would consider it “A fun day out”. It’s uncanny.


How Clare might look hanging out at my house.

Clare Balding hasn’t released a Workout DVD of her own yet. However, as I fully expect her to hightail it over to my blog any time now, I thought I’d do the next best thing and feature a Workout DVD from one of her celebrity mates.

Clare and Gabby are, no doubt, constantly hanging out together at BBC Sports Presenter barbecues, quiz nights and Tupperware parties - swapping anecdotes, sharing beauty tips and recommending obscure blogs to one another.


Gabby Logan : So pretty she should probably do yogurt adverts.

Gabby Logan’s “Twin Results Workout” is the workout she followed while she was pregnant and just after the birth of her twins. Happily, she tells us that being pregnant isn’t compulsory and the workout's fantastic “even if you haven’t had children and just want to feel and look fit and healthy”.

She probably realised that marketing a DVD purely at people expecting multiple births would have had a bit of a detrimental effect on her sales figures.

Gabby is the first celebrity we’ve had on this site who’s a sports professional and former international athlete. It shows. This is a proper no-nonsense work out. Her trainer, Colin Allan appears stern and intimidating, although the DVD extras would suggest that this is a bit of an act he puts on.


Do not mess with this man.

There are five sections and all are sensibly named: Warm-Up, Trunk, Upper Body, Lower Body and Cool Down.

In each section there are three different levels of difficulty depending on whether you follow Gabby, Mel or Jo. Mel and Jo being the other women doing the workout. They are both friends of Gabby’s and we’re given a bit of background about them - neither have kids. Mel plays hockey. It makes a nice contrast to the neglect of Helmut and Pedro on Nadia’s DVD the other week. (These are possibly not the right names. I can’t be bothered to go back and check. They’re old news.)



From top to bottom: Mel, Jo and Gabby. The gang's all here!

I don’t have a lot to say about this workout, to be honest. This is Gabby Logan's fault for making her workout sensible and useful rather than ridiculous and self-indulgent. Luckily I don’t foresee that being an issue with most of the workouts on my “to watch” pile.

The only time Gabby wanders off-topic at all is when she goes into more detail about Diastasis Recti than I felt I really wanted to know. (A defect caused by the stretching of the abdomen by a growing uterus, apparently).

Would I do this workout again?
Yes definitely. Apart from anything else I got to use my lime green dumbbells in the “Upper Body” section and that always makes me happy.

Difficulty Level
For most exercises there were three levels – easy, hard and Gabby-level. That woman likes to push everything just that little bit further. Still you don’t get amazing buttocks like hers without putting some effort in.


Aforementioned amazing buttocks.

I found I was able to keep up the easiest level of exercises. Particularly the ones where all I had to do was concentrate on my pelvis. I find I have quite the knack for that.

Best Bit.
The out-takes. Colin gets the giggles! I’m always a sucker for blooper reels at the end of films so I think this is a trend worth encouraging on fitness DVDs.





Worst Bit.

I thought there would be more mention of her twins considering they are part of the DVD title. The extra “Twin Story” turned out – a little disappointingly - to be the story of the Twin Results Workout. Not the actual twins.

Although thanks to this thing called the internet I found what appears to the one picture in existence of her son and daughter.



I’m not sure what I actually wanted her babies to contribute to the workout. It’s not as though I expected to see Gabby hurling them about “Baby Yoga” style.
(You really don’t want to click that link, by the way.)

Maybe I’m just spoilt after seeing Geri Halliwell’s dog the other week. Not that Gabby’s kids could have competed with him, no matter how lovely they are. In fact, until a celebrity releases a workout DVD incorporating kittens or a baby panda, Geri’s still winning.

Michelle McManus - The Lifeplan Workout

Michelle McManus won Pop Idol in 2003, released an album and enjoyed a couple of years of fame. In 2005 she appeared on “You are what you eat” (with desiccated lying diet-hag, Gillian McKeith). The following year she released this workout DVD. Unlike a lot of workout-touting celebrities, Michelle needed to lose weight. She was 23 stone before embarking on her fitness regime and had lost 10 stone by the time this DVD was made. This means she’s heavier in her ‘after’ photo than celebs like Jessie Wallace (from Eastenders) and Vicky Entwhistle (from Coronation Street) are in their ‘before’ ones. Michelle looks perfectly lovely of course.

See Jessie and Vicky, a nice red dress and a positive attitude do wonders.

She has since regained a lot of her original weight. This may mean that the workout isn’t very good. Or that rapid ascension to recognition, being subjected to vicious scrutiny by tabloids and then being dropped by her record company (due to the relentless search of the music business to replicate and replace disposable music acts for short-term monetary advantage) has sapped Michelle of her self-worth and
willpower. Or maybe she just likes eating. You can over-think these
things to be honest.

I have no experience of Pop Idol (or its bastard son, the X-Factor) and hadn’t come across McManus before. She seems lovely and genuine. She has a nice rapport with her trainer, Dax Moy. Unlike the Mad Lady/Terrified Pet thing that Barbara and Roy had going on last week, I’d say there was even a bit of sexual attraction between Michelle and Dax (or Max as I probably won’t refer to them ever again). Admittedly, Dax fancies himself far more than he could any mortal woman. Fitness instructors seem to be obsessed with groins and arses, have you noticed? Dax never seems happier than when he’s sticking out his bum and tilting his pelvis. He takes enormous professional pride in how well he can do it. “Don’t worry if you can’t manage this as well as I can. I am a professional fitness instructor. You are a mere mortal.”
Look on me with wonderment and awe.
There are six routines on the DVD – Integrated Movement Training, Power Circuit, Dumbbell Matrix and Core Circuits 1, 2 and 3. There is also a section describing the elimination diet that Michelle followed and a section called “Michelle’s Lifeplan Tips” which aren’t really tips at all, rather interviews with Michelle and Dax where they tell you how they feel about things. (Spoiler: Michelle is happy. Dax thinks he’s pretty special.)

The exercises are great and easy to follow. It is recommended that you do each exercise 6 times to start with and add one repetition each time you do the workout. As Dax frequently tells us – in what he clearly thinks is a stunning bit of wordplay – there’s no progress without progression. You can’t argue with that logic, to be fair.

Worryingly, there’s no mention of an upper limit. If you follow the Exercise Planner booklet included with the DVD, you would be doing each individual set of exercises three or four times a week. You’d reach 22 by the end of the month. By the end of the first year it would be over 150. If Michelle were still following this regime in 2012 she’d need to do each routine 1,200 times. And there are dozens of them. No wonder she seems to have abandoned the Lifeplan. There’s no way she could fit all that in AND present Scottish TV’s “The Hour”.

Best Bit

This beginners-level demonstration of how to do a push-up. Nothing funny to say about it. I just found it really helpful.

Weirdest Bit
Dax explaining the rationale behind devising his elimination diet.

“There were no fewer than 80 books [in the shop] relating to nutrition... I’d open one and it would say ‘high protein, low fat’ and I’d open another one and it would say ‘low protein, high fat’. Another one would say something else. Every single one ... had two or three celebrities saying “This is the way to go”. But they were all saying something completely different and that didn’t sit right with me.”

Woah there, Moy. You noticed that there were too many diet books with conflicting advice - many of which were endorsed by celebrities? And you thought the solution to this would be to devise a brand new diet and get a Pop Idol winner to support it? Have you really thought this through?

Also, a ‘low protein, high fat’ diet plan? Are you sure that’s a thing?

Difficulty Level
2 out of 5.
I was pretty stiff the next day but I don’t think this workout was particularly hard. What with the old lady workout last week and the big lady workout this week, I am trying to be kind to myself to begin with.

Would I do this Workout again?
Yes, I think I would. Michelle keeps the unnecessary chitchat to a minimum and the exercises are clearly good for your muscles and not difficult to follow. I have even invested in some dumbbells so that next time I don’t have to heave bottles of fruity water about the place like a deranged shelf-stacker. This is probably the closest thing you’ll get to a ringing endorsement round these parts.